Settling an Argument with Anger. Mark 12:3-4
Settling an Argument with Anger
Mark 12:3-4
Daniel Amari
And he began to speak to them in parables. “A man planted a vineyard and put a fence around it and dug a pit for the winepress and built a tower, and leased it to tenants and went into another country. 2 When the season came, he sent a servant to the tenants to get from them some of the fruit of the vineyard 3 And they took him and beat him and sent him away empty-handed.
The tenants apparently found their arrangement with the owner unacceptable. As tenants, they were accountable to give him fruit at the proper time. Yet because the owner had been away in another country for so long, they believed they were free to change the original agreement. Perhaps they considered that agreement unfair. If that were their only concern, however, they could have left and allowed other tenants to take their place. Clearly, jealousy, greed, and pride were also at work.
Yet the owner sent a servant to collect some of the fruit. Notice that the owner continued to act according to the agreement and asked for only a portion of the harvest. His request was entirely reasonable. To the tenants, however, the servant’s arrival brought two opposing points of view into direct conflict. From their perspective, his request for fruit violated the way they had chosen to operate the vineyard.
But how did they respond?
A. They beat him. They used violence to impose their point of view. When opposing views came into conflict, they settled the dispute through violence.
a. Remarkably, their first response offered no reason for their disagreement. They gave no kind or calm explanation for why they believed the original agreement should be changed.
b. They had no sound, defensible argument to send back to the owner, so they resorted to violence.
c. Violence is not limited to physical force. Such people may also use anger, hostility, legal action, threats, or any other means intended to silence the opposing party.
d. Be very careful around people who use anger and violence to settle an argument. Avoid them. More importantly, we must examine whether we behave the same way toward our spouses and families. Do we resort to anger to settle disagreements? Is anger our first response? Because anger is sometimes driven by pride, we must humble ourselves before the Lord and seek His grace to treat others with humility.
B. They sent him away empty-handed. Their message was clear: they claimed everything for themselves and denied that the owner was entitled to anything. That is why they had no defensible position. What reasonable argument can justify outright theft?
4 Again he sent to them another servant, and they struck him on the head and treated him shamefully.
Several observations:
A. The owner sent them another servant.
a. Why did the owner send another servant? By doing so, he continued to act under the agreement and asserted that it remained in force.
b. He did not resort to violence. His response demonstrated both grace and professionalism.
c. It is also noteworthy that the owner refused to be intimidated or frightened by their violence.
d. This passage offers important lessons for dealing with an angry person. Avoid such a person as much as possible, but do not allow anger to intimidate you or alter the agreement. Yielding to intimidation does not help that person in the long term; it teaches that anger and hostility are effective. In this case, they were not effective, either immediately or in the end. Moreover, do not answer violence with violence. Learn to be gracious yet firm.
B. The tenants escalated their violence:
a. They struck him on the head. Their intention was not merely to beat him, but to inflict extensive and lasting harm.
b. They shamed him, belittling and verbally abusing him. Significantly, the text presents verbal humiliation as an escalation beyond physical violence.
c. We must recognize that shaming is a form of violent escalation. Contrary to the belief that verbal humiliation is less serious than physical violence, it can represent a further escalation. We must guard against such words coming from our own mouths and remain alert when they come from others. This behavior should be recognized for what it is and addressed with wisdom and discernment.
d. Escalating violence is the only remaining resort of the unjust, short of admitting that they are wrong and honoring the agreement. Violence and shaming publicly declare the bankruptcy of their arguments. A kind, quiet, and gracious demeanor suggests confidence in the truth. Shaming, by contrast, reveals escalation as the final resort of those who do not have the truth on their side. It includes sarcasm, scorn, and demeaning behavior. Let us wisely recognize these acts for what they are: the last resort of those who reject the truth.
Copyright 2017 by Daniel Amari. All rights reserved.
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